Transcription
So one of the great, wonderful things about doing mettā practice is that you can't actually go wrong. It's pretty difficult to get it wrong, in a way. There are a range of emphases, and we've been talking about this over the days. In other words, the practice can move or have most of its unfolding, for now perhaps, along a certain stream within that range of emphases. But they're all beautiful and they're all wonderful and they're all helpful and healing. So in that sense, it's pretty close to impossible to be getting it wrong. And I think it's really important just to know that and have that faith and to have that.
We are, as we keep harping on about, within that range, gently trying to perhaps prioritize, if possible, the sense of the body and the emerging, the nurturing of a sense of well-being in the body, a sense of even pleasure in the body: comfort, lightness, openness, warmth, etc., that kind of, at times, reflects the mettā, expresses the mettā. And like we've been saying, sometimes, it's almost like, it's not that we demand that or put pressure, but sometimes, if I just feel it, it's like that's there, and one can acknowledge that and almost coax it out, nurture it out. So if that's possible, within the range, we are leaning a little bit that way. And if there feels like there's a choice, some moments or some sittings or walkings, it feels like there's a choice where I could lean this way or lean that way, that's a little bit what we're emphasizing.
Sometimes with the body sense it's actually possible to establish the well-being first. In other words -- and we've touched on this -- just sitting, and sensitive to the whole body and the sort of spread of awareness, the space of awareness, and feeling into the texture, and actually it has a pleasant tone to it, or a certain comfort, lightness, etc. And using that as the platform, interpreting that as mettā and going from there.
And of course, body being body, it's not going to be comfortable all the time, certainly, and body has difficulty too. We feel discomfort in all kinds of ways. And of course, going right back to the beginning, there are plenty of times when we don't feel anything in the body at all when we're doing mettā practice: it feels dry, there's nothing going on here. And if that's the case, when that's the case, really, really to trust the phrases and the intention, whether one's using visualization or whatever. Trust that stream. It's all moving in the right direction.
So whether the practice is unfolding in the sense of it is harmonizing and the body feels good, that's great. Whether there's really some difficulty in the emotions or the body, or both, or something else, and one's just sticking, sticking to the mettā, that's also really, really powerful. That's doing all kinds of work at deep levels of the being. It's really, really beneficial. And at times, it feels that there's something I need to turn to and maybe let the mettā go and open to it and accept it. And perhaps there's part of the being that I don't like seeing it. I don't like feeling it there. I don't like acknowledging that it exists in me. I want it to go away, whether it's physical or emotional or mental, whatever it is. And just that attitude of turning towards it, opening to it, allowing it to be there in spaciousness. It's the spaciousness, the allowing. And sometimes, in that allowing, it's almost as if water, the waters of kindness can begin trickling into that space. And that begins making all the difference. The healing comes in. So wherever we're leaning at any time in the practice, it's all good. We cannot go wrong.
And like I said, sometimes the body feels uncomfortable. Naturally, it's part of being human and physical. And there are some options here. First thing is, if you feel uncomfortable while you're meditating, to move the body. It's completely fine -- move. Be comfortable. So there's an expression in the mettā practice of actually being kind to the body and kind to oneself and taking care at that level. So just quietly, gently move the body. Be comfortable. If it feels like sitting on the floor is too much, sitting after sitting after sitting, alternate postures. Take a session in a chair, a session on the floor, etc.
When there's difficulty in the body, we often get sucked into that area of difficulty, wherever it is, if there's pain. And the consciousness kind of, almost like a magnet, just goes there and gets shrunken around or inside the difficulty. Very normal, and a kind of normal reaction of consciousness. But there's the opportunity in this kind of practice to re-establish that whole body awareness and the whole light, delicate sensitivity, and the spaciousness of awareness, and just, in a way, resist getting sucked into the difficult, wherever that is in the body. And staying more perhaps with where it feels okay, where it feels comfortable in the body. Sitting there, making that the kind of seat, the centre of one's awareness. And of course, like I was just saying before, sometimes there's something in the body that's really difficult, and again, we can turn to it and hold it in a spacious allowing. And then it's really that attitude. And is it possible that some kindness can come into that holding, that allowing of what's difficult in the body?
Occasionally with these kinds of practices -- and we're talking about sensitivity to the body -- sometimes for a person the whole energy system begins to open, and the energy centres begin to open, and the energy flows in the body in ways that perhaps we're not that used to sometimes. And in terms of energy rising up the body or expanding, or certain areas feeling very full, sometimes that feels very pleasant or a little bit pleasant. Other times what can happen is, the energy starts moving -- it's actually really good that it's moving. It's good that it's opening. We're wanting to open the energy centres. And it's almost, we could say, the energy moves and it encounters a block somewhere. It could be anywhere. It could be the heart or the throat or the head or anything. And that's relatively common in these kind of practices. And you can do a couple of things in that case.
You can imagine, actually use the imagination, use the visual or kinaesthetic imagination, and just imagine the energy flowing through that blockage. Just imagine that it's open and flowing right through. So perhaps it's at the top of the head, and just imagine it bursting out like a fountain at the top of the head and coming back down. Or if it's in the throat, then it just goes through that area. Or perhaps it's in the head, and it wants to come out this way or this way or whatever. The imagination's very, very powerful, and it really does have a place in this practice, certainly, but even in insight meditation and mindfulness practice, actually. So we imagine something, and then so-called 'reality' follows the imagination sometimes.
You can also, if there is this kind of block, imagine that the mettā is actually -- that's the centre of the mettā, and it's radiating from that very blockage. Oftentimes as the energies are opening and the sort of unification of the being gets deeper, the very places that feel the most blocked can open up in a way that they end up feeling the most lovely. And it's very interesting. Sometimes, also, that's a matter of being with them in this kind way that I was saying before, and allowing the unpleasantness, allowing the unpleasantness, allowing the unpleasantness.
Last option is, I'm sitting or I'm walking, backache, whatever it is, or heartache, even, whatever, and a shift in attitude: "It doesn't matter how I feel right now." Certainly if one's giving mettā to someone else, it doesn't matter. "How I feel is irrelevant; this is for you. This if for you." And a sort of throwing away of the self-concern, and a self-abandonment. This is a bodhisattva mindset. Just, actually, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that I feel pain right now or discomfort. What happens when we shift the attitude and liberate something that way, free it up? So you can experiment with that too.
In these kind of practices -- and again, it's such a short retreat, so it's okay if some of this feels like, "Well, I don't know. It's not really happening in the body for me right now." It's fine. It's a short retreat, and people unfold in this different range, at different places in that range. But the general movement is for the -- how could we say? -- the sense of the body to become more subtle. As things get calmer and deeper, or at the times when they're calmer and deeper, the usual gross sense of solid physicality and heaviness and bone and all that, and definition, it all kind of begins to soften and become more subtle and blur a bit -- at times. And it just moves in and out of that. And that's really fine. And in a way we want to, again, that's part of something we want to gently encourage, rather than trying to resurrect something more solid, or even a more intense feeling of mettā. Some of you have done mettā before. And I remember, a person says, "I remember a time when it was gushing out," etc. Well, maybe that was actually a less mature period, and now it's actually gone more spacious, more subtle, more quiet.
Again, in the body, we tend to think, "Mettā must come from my heart. This is the heart centre." But not necessarily. I mean, often, when there's a feeling, it may be centred here. Oftentimes people report it's coming from the belly. Totally fine. Can actually come from anywhere. I remember a while ago, someone who was on a three-month retreat here, and doing mettā for most of it, and she came into the interview, and sat down, and triumphantly wiggled her foot at me [laughter], and said, "I can radiate mettā from my big toe!" [laughter] And of course, yes, absolutely! Absolutely! Why not? I'm saying this, and it's a direction: eventually the whole body gets involved. That's why I keep saying sensitive to the whole body, sensitive to the whole body. And that's really, you know, it was real what she was saying. And I knew that possibility, of course. It's like, the whole body gets involved.
And with that, someone was saying in a group, what about the hands? Now, hands are remarkable -- I mean, the whole body is remarkable, but the hands, how much they express in the world, through touch, through creativity, through what we actually do. And so, what would it be, if you want a little bit today, to start exploring, at times, if you feel drawn to it, touching, perhaps just touching yourself with the hands, and letting the actual mettā come through the hands? Or imagining it, again, imagining it come though the hands? We often don't really touch ourselves with tenderness. What is that? One hand resting on the back of the other hand, and in that touch there's healing and there's love and there's beautiful tenderness expressed. Very, very healing. Very powerful. And sometimes, also, again, as the whole body gets more involved in the mettā, you can kind of even feel or imagine an energy coming out of the centre of the palms. I feel it now. And you see people, pictures of people, or you see people blessing people -- it's like that. And you actually can feel something. And that's all part of the whole thing getting deeper, and the whole energetic system, subtle energy body getting involved. So play with that, if you like.
When I was saying about being slow and gentle in the movement, it's just because it encourages that kind of sensitivity and potentially that kind of opening. Or when the feet touch the earth outside on the grass, and in that ... We walk so much, and sometimes the foot touches the earth, and there can actually be incredible tenderness there: human foot meeting physical earth. And it's our home.
So today we're going to expand to all beings. (I'm afraid I'm going to talk a little bit longer, but.) All beings included, this boundlessness. I want to read you the Buddha's words on loving-kindness. Beautiful words:
This is what should be done
By one who is skilled in goodness,
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straightforward and gentle in speech,
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied,
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm and wise and skilful,
Not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove.
Wishing, in gladness and in safety,
May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be;
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to-be-born ---
May all beings be at ease!
Let none deceive another,
Or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill-will
Wish harm upon another.
Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings;
Radiating kindness over the entire world:
Spreading upwards to the skies,
And downwards to the depths;
Outwards and unbounded,
Freed from hatred and ill-will.
Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down
Free from drowsiness,
One should sustain this recollection.
This is said to be the sublime abiding.[1]
So, very, very beautiful words. We're moving in today to include all beings, or opening up to include all beings. Now, there are different ways of doing this, meditatively or in practice. As always, there are options. If you actually go through the sutta quite carefully, and some people have done this in the tradition, and select out certain words and make a meditation practice out of that. So one possibility is dividing up categories of beings. And you could do all four-legged animals, or all insects, or all humans, or all males, all females. You can do it like that, and go through and kind of think about groups of beings. That's really a lovely way of doing it. You can also -- and again, it's in the sutta -- you can also think about directions. So it's like, okay, I'm sitting here, I'm walking, and all beings ahead, ahead of me in that direction, all beings behind me, all beings above, all beings below. There's said to be ten directions: the four cardinal points, the sort of north-west, etc., and up and down. Does that make ten? Yeah. [laughter]
Third possibility, and the one I would like to encourage on this retreat -- although you are really free to experiment as you like, so if you want the categories of beings, and it's like, "All small furry mammals to the left," fine. [laughter] Fine. Go for it. And there are a lot around here! [laughter] That's really fine. So play with it. It's part of this playfulness and creativity. There's a third option which I would like to maybe suggest might be simpler, and perhaps more helpful in the particular line that we've been emphasizing. And that is just, here I am sitting here, and I feel this sensitivity to the whole body, and as if the energy field of mettā or the sphere of mettā just radiates outwards like a huge sphere in all directions. So it's a simple field of mettā, just growing and growing and growing, and eventually becoming infinite, boundless.
The reason I'm suggesting that that might be the best one is because partly it is simpler, and the simplicity allows more concentration with it, but also partly because we've been emphasizing this sensitivity to the whole body. We've got the whole body already. We've got a little sphere here, a little bubble/balloon of awareness, and maybe some mettā at times, and then that can just expand out. So it's very in line with that. But we don't mind.
I dropped this in at some point, but I can't remember: sometimes some people, all these phrases and this business, it's quite difficult to get some mettā going. What actually helps is just being much more spacious right from the beginning. And in that spaciousness of awareness, mettā starts to fill it, gently and naturally. So at times it might be, for some, that actually being very spacious, finding ways to open to a sense of space allows mettā in. And I may touch on that again later today.
Something quite beautiful and remarkable can begin to happen as the consciousness does open out -- in any way, opens out into the space. We can begin to perceive, to see, to sense that the space itself, the space of the universe, even, is imbued with love, with compassion, with loving-kindness. It's almost like love is in the air. It's almost like it's woven into the fabric of the cosmos. And it's not a personal love at that point. It's not 'me' giving love to 'you.' It's become, in a way, impersonal -- huge, boundless, and infinite, and not belonging to anyone, touching everything, embracing everything.
Love, then, is much more than I might have thought it was, this word 'love' that we use so commonly. Something much greater. So, wonderful if that happens, or if there's even just a whisper of an intimation of that. Wonderful, something really to be encouraged. And all the expressions of love are wonderful, good. It's not that we want to stay at that end of things, you know, in the mystical, huge expanse all the time. There's also just me and you, trying to solve our kind of difficulty that we have as sort of humble human beings. So all of that, we're interested in all of it as human beings.
But what happens with that -- and I will go into this later today -- what happens with that, or what happens more as the love comes in, is there are changes in our perception. We say, "Well, I'm sitting in a room, and there's space. Yeah, sure. There are walls and a ceiling, and air, of course, and I know that." But something begins happening in the way I perceive the world. The more mettā there is, the more it begins -- the heart changes, and when the heart changes, the eyes change, the senses change. The world I'm -- we'll go into this more tonight; I should shut up in a minute -- we perceive differently.
Sometimes a person says, and someone wrote a note this morning, "I'm perceiving everything as an act of kindness. It's like kindness is everywhere." It's a shift in perception. And so, who knows what the weather will bring today. But interesting, isn't it? When there's enough love in the heart, when there's enough mettā, rain doesn't matter. No problem with rain. Rain is a problem when there's aversion. Rain itself is not a problem. Cold rain in August ... [laughter] which we're getting very used to now, is also not a problem. It's good insight for English ... [laughter] It's the aversion that makes it a problem. When there's enough mettā, there's no aversion -- it's the opposite. And we colour things, we see things differently.
Okay, enough talking. Let's practise together.
[23:40, guided meditation begins]
So again, just as much as possible, taking a little time to find a sense of comfort in the body. A sense of ease and openness. Just as much as is possible, that the body is expressing this openness, this softness. Just as much as is possible right now. And filling that space with awareness, imbuing that bubble of space with awareness. Sensitive, delicate, light. And whenever you're ready, beginning to offer the intention, the energy of kindness, of care, wherever it's easiest right now. Finding your way to work, that works for you, whether it's light, visualization, phrases, body, all of them. Whatever helps.
[32:00] When you feel ready, allowing the kindness, the sphere of kindness to gently open out, to unfurl itself, to radiate out, touching all beings, all beings in all directions. With holding, with tenderness, with warmth and reverence and well-wishing. Human and non-human. Wishing happiness, and well-being, and ease. So letting it be spacious and bright. Finding what's helpful for you, playing a little bit if you like.
Feeling or no feeling right now, actually doesn't matter. Just gently, persistently planting the seeds, having faith in that, that stream of intention. Staying sensitive to your whole body, lightly anchored in that. And offering, gently offering. Blessing the life of all beings.
[46:50, guided meditation ends]
So in the practice today, the whole field is open in terms of how you move through the categories. And so in one session, in one sitting or walking session, you could put them all in: self, easiest, friend, neutral, difficult, all beings. And just spend a few minutes on each and move that way. That's completely fine. You could spend the whole session doing one category. You could pick three or two or four of them -- you know, any. It's really, really flexible. And this sense of the campfire analogy, you know, how's my fire going? What does it need now? Maybe it needs a bit more dry kindling, maybe something else. And the dry kindling might change every time. In other words, sometimes all beings, although we do that at the end, might actually be the thing that really helps to ignite a little bit. So feel very flexible with it all.
Sn 1:8. ↩︎
