Transcription
So let's continue with our exploration of the loving-kindness practice. I'll say very, very little now and we'll just do a guided meditation. Like everything else in meditation, there are many ways to cultivate loving-kindness meditatively. Many ways, many possibilities. So we're just presenting one, and there are variations on that too. Some of you will be very familiar with this. We use kind of categories of beings. So yesterday, Christina started mostly with the self, loving-kindness towards the self. What is it to care and to love oneself, really? What does that mean? What does that look like? How does that play out? How do we nurture that? And then moving from the self, increasing this radius, this circle of care, slowly, slowly, kind of to where it's easiest, and then a little bit less easy, a little bit less easy, until eventually the sphere of care and concern is completely universal and completely unconditioned in the sense that it just radiates and touches and embraces all beings, no matter whether I like them, I dislike them, I think well of them or not, whether they've been kind to me or not. It's a very high aspiration, but that's where we're going. We're kind of going in stages with it.
So today, in addition to the self, want to add two more categories. The next one to add, the first one of these two, traditionally it's called the benefactor. Actually Chris and I did a retreat in the summer and we changed that. So we're going to call it the easiest person. [laughter] It's just simpler. The reason for that is oftentimes people look and they say, "I don't really have someone who's done a lot for me," or "When I look back on my life, what my mind goes to is a lot of unkindness or unfairness that's come towards me, etc.," and then it can just get complicated. So it's just who's the easiest person. It may not even logically make sense to you why this person, it's easy to think of them and wish them well. So when we bring their image or the sense of them to mind, it feels natural and easy to want happiness for them, to want well-being for them. Uncomplicated -- maybe that's a good way of saying it as well. The uncomplicated person, or the person where the relationship feels uncomplicated as much as possible.
And then, after that, we'll add what's called the category of the friend. And this is someone where there's a history of love, there's a history of sharing, of care and concern for each other, but the relationship admits of more complexity. Like most human relationships, it's not always pristine and clearly flowing and without hindrance. Oftentimes a degree of human messiness comes into our relationships. So the friend is just someone we love, we know we love them, we know that deep down we wish them well, and yet we can definitely identify some rubbing points there, some points of friction, etc.
Okay? So that's what we're going to work through just today. And I will repeat what you've already heard from Christina yesterday, and I'll say this even in the guided meditation as well. We're not -- how to say? -- we're not trying to force a feeling. Sometimes in the mettā meditation, a feeling of warmth, a feeling of loving-kindness will come up. If and when that comes up, maybe it's very unremarkable. Maybe the body just feels a little more open or a little more light, or a little warmth or softness comes into the texture of the experience, the texture of the body, the texture of the mind. Maybe very unremarkable. But when that's there, it is quite important to connect with it, to really feel that and let that be kind of woven into the texture of the meditation.
So certainly not to overlook it or ignore it, but, but, but it cannot be there all the time; it's impossible. It's impossible for that feeling to be there all the time. So maybe it doesn't come up at all, maybe it comes up a little bit, maybe it comes up a lot. All of that's fine. At other times, it may feel the mettā feels quite dry -- I'm just planting seeds, planting these seeds of the intentionality of kindness. And those seeds, like any good farmer, good gardener knows, you put them in the earth, down where it's invisible. I can't see what happens down there. And in time, they sprout. In time, they come up. And that's nature's business. That's the business of all the conditions. It's not my business to worry about that. So sometimes there's a feeling -- lovely, really good to feel it, even when it's unremarkable. So don't overlook that. And other times, there's a faith, a trust -- I'll just plant the seeds, because then I'm literally reshaping the pathways in the mind, and that has an effect. It cannot not have an effect. So there's an element of trust in this as well.
[6:14, guided meditation begins]
Okay. If you want to again establish yourself in a posture of meditation. And letting the body settle into that posture. Settling in with a sense of ease, allowing the mind, the consciousness to settle into that posture. Just coming in to inhabit the body. And just dwelling for a few moments in that body sense.
Can there be now, in that openness, a sense of the awareness, if you like, receiving the sensations of the body? So whatever the feelings are, arising, passing, shifting in the body right now, whether they're difficult or neutral, pleasant, whatever they are, there's actually a sense of them being received in the kindness of awareness. Welcoming whatever the experience is right now. Allowing and embracing. This life of the body is part of ourselves, it's part of our life. Softening, softening to receive, to open, to allow.
So aware, sensitive to the whole body and this whole life of the body, the dance that it does, and receiving it all. Within that, you may just very lightly, if you like, notice how it feels when you just rest your attention or centre your awareness, centre your awareness in the middle of the chest, the heart centre. No pressure, no demands. Very light presence centred there, if you like.
So knowing yourself, knowing your body, knowing this moment from that heart centre, and softening, softening, allowing everything. And see if it's possible to stay lightly connected in that whole body sense for the whole meditation, just as much as possible, coming back to that if you feel like you lose it.
[11:30] When you feel ready, beginning to offer the well-wishing, the loving-kindness, the deep friendliness, either to yourself or to this easiest person, easiest other person. Starting wherever feels easiest right now, and it doesn't matter which one that is. This body, this mind, this being wishing well. Holding yourself or this person in tenderness, in care and kindness. May I be safe and protected. May I be peaceful. May I live with ease and with kindness. Just faithfully trying to connect with that well-wishing expressed through the phrases. Just over and over again, gently, patiently.
[21:06] And whenever you feel ready, moving on to the next category. So if you've been working with yourself, then bringing into the heart, into the awareness, the image or the sense of someone whom it feels relatively easy to wish well. Or if you've been working with this easiest person, then beginning to offer the mettā to yourself, to this body, this mind, this heart, this being. May you be safe and protected. May you be peaceful. May you live with ease and with kindness.
So really helpful to keep a light sensitivity to the whole body, delicate openness of awareness to the whole body. And then connecting with the phrases, and noticing the quality, the tone of your voice, your inner voice. Letting your inner voice express mettā, express that kindness, that acceptance. Some people are more visual, so if you find it helpful, you can also imagine a sphere of white, golden light that surrounds and permeates your own body or the body of the benefactor. And this golden light of mettā bathes them, holds them, seeps into their very cells. So letting yourself be a little bit playful and finding what works for you within this anchoring in the body and the intentionality of mettā.
[30:13] And again, when you feel ready, inviting into the heart, into the mind's eye the sense or the image of a friend -- anyone for whom there is some care, a partner, a parent, child, friend. Taking a moment just to acknowledge and see again this person's goodness. So you have been the recipient of their kindness, of their generosity. And again, beginning to extend, to offer the loving-kindness, the wishing well to this person, this friend. Wishing them wellness of body, wellness of mind.
So not forcing, not pushing, just the gentle flow of our wishing well. Just like rain gently falling, like waves lightly lapping ashore. Just over and over, feeding the streams of kindness, of acceptance, of tenderness, of warmth.
And then just returning to the simple sense of presence and your body right here, right now, in this room. Again, that sense of allowing, including. The soft openness to experience.
[38:10, guided meditation ends]
