Transcription
Rob: Okay, so we have all three and one two. Is that correct? Oh, you've got three? So we're all threes. It divides. Good. I've got my calculations. [laughter] According to my arithmetic ... let's see. So we're going to invite you to do something similar to what we did a couple nights ago or whenever it was when we did the fours. So something similar-ish. I realize we haven't really fully explained why we're doing this [laughter], but it's probably beginning to be obvious to you, or at least some of the reasons why. So I'm not going to explain it now. [laughter]
Catherine: Unless we ask you a question, in which case you won't be able to help us. [laughter]
Rob: She thinks I have an ailment that ... [laughter] Anyway. Moving on. Okay, so let's settle again.
[1:09, guided exercise begins]
Really grounding in the sense of sitting, the sensations of sitting, the sensations of contact with the floor, with the earth, the backside, the sacrum, the legs. Even that grounding, even that connection with the earth can be multilevelled. Can be, at times. There's the simple mindfulness of sensations in their so-called 'bare actuality,' there's the energy body connection, there's the imaginal sense of the body, this body, how it's perceived sitting on the earth. From that sense of connection, again opening up the awareness to the whole body and a little bit larger, what we call energy body awareness, which really means the whole range available of what that space might feel like. Doesn't mean any particular kind of experience. Bright, sensitive presence pervading the whole space of the body and a little bit larger. Again and again, it will shrink, it will collapse. Again and again, just inhabiting that whole space, opening up again the awareness, the presence, the aliveness through that whole space.
When you're ready, the eyes open. What happens to the energy body awareness when the eyes open and take in your two fellows? What happens to the energy body awareness? What happens to the attention? Does it go all over there? Does it withdraw? Does it go somewhere else entirely? Just noticing. Is it possible to have both in the awareness? Both the sense of one's own presence, one's own space of the energy body, and these other beings, these two beings? A sense of an attention that can hold and embrace both and the particularities. You can let yourself make eye contact; you don't have to. Sensing each other, opening to the presence of each other. Beginning to wish well, to radiate towards your two companions goodwill, blessing: may you be at peace. May you be happy. May you be at ease. There's so much about you I don't know. Whatever it is, may you be at peace.
So you've got your energy body, the sense of the others, and this goodwill, this repeating of the intention of mettā, just the intention. Perhaps the energy of mettā. Awareness has all three: energy body, other, and mettā. Blessing, wishing well. Again, in this moment, know you are being wished well. You are the recipient of mettā, of loving-kindness, goodwill. You have in the attention all this now: the energy body, the heart, the other, the giving and the receiving. You are bathed in loving-kindness, and you are bathing others in loving-kindness. There may be eye contact. There may not be. Do this with the eyes open, the senses open. Sensing the other. Sensing when we get lost in the other or in ourselves by withdrawing. There may be eye contact or there may not be, but senses are open to the other. Giving and receiving.
When you're ready, just letting that intention for mettā go, the awareness of the mettā go. It remains as a foundation for everything, in the background, always ready to be activated consciously if necessary. But it's a basis. Energy body awareness, and the sense of other, others. The sense of the senses in relationship with those others. And again, we'll do similar to what we did last time. The first stage of the exercise is just someone's going to go first, and we'll go round. This time you have -- well, I'm going to see what feels right as we do it, but somewhere between two and three minutes. Somewhere between two and three minutes each to express or share what's happening in your energy body right now, in this moment. So in the three minutes, it's going to change. Some of that might be quiet. Some of it might be "I don't know." Some of it might be "I feel numb." Some of it might be "I'm tingling," or "I feel electric," or "something's tight in my belly" or whatever it is. It will go through its own journey in the three minutes. Some can be tracking that inside, and some expressing it. And again, you can express it in kind of conventional descriptive language. You can express it in poetic language. You could express it in movement or in sound.
Sometimes the sense of the energy body -- we're opening up the meaning of this word, 'energy body.' Sometimes it actually involves an image of the body. We're actually sensing the body with soul. So if that's there, too, you can also find a way to express that, perhaps. Perhaps in words, describing not just the feeling in the body, but the image of the body, if that arises. Does that make sense? The job of the other two in the group while you're speaking is to bring all your senses into engagement with the other, with the one who is speaking. So you're looking and you're listening. And what is it to bring your whole energy body, to know the other with your energy body, with your whole body? I'm not touching, I'm not intruding in any way, but my whole body might be sensitive, open to the other.
So perhaps someone in each group could volunteer to go first. It will be somewhere between two and three minutes. And the witnesses, again, remain silent. So you're not saying anything or feeding anything back to the other. Your job is to track your own process. What happens in my energy body and my emotions or my mind as I'm witnessing and opening, sensing the one who is communicating? So you have a job too. You're receiving, but you're also tracking your own process. Okay?
Yogi: Can we stay with the mettā while we're with the other?
Rob: Can we stay with the mettā while we're listening? You can if you want. But if it feels like "Oh, it would be really good to go to the mettā now," it's almost like -- I wonder if it can be there in the background. Otherwise, your job as witnesser, when you're the witnesser, is to just be as fully present in all the expanded meaning of what we mean by 'fully present' on this retreat. You understand? Sometimes it might be, "I need to do mettā," but I would probably view that as just -- it's kind of we're setting it up, and then we're letting it go, and it's kind of just a basis. Yeah?
Catherine will ring a bell to start us. And then we'll ring a bell to stop. And again, it will be just a short pause and then the next person. Okay? Eye contact can come and go. For the witnesses, what I'm asking the witnesses to do is really bring your senses into relationship with the other, which means eyes and ears, and actually is it possible, what does it mean, to bring my whole body into knowing, my whole energy body into knowing the other? We don't really have that in our culture. We don't think of that. But I'm just suggesting that as that's possible too. But the person who is speaking sometimes will probably want to close the eyes to track something, and can make eye contact or not, or look away. That's just natural in the sort of human psychology to do that. Is that good? Yes?
[14:45, starting bell rings]
[17:50, bell rings]
So just in the pause now between turns, what's happening in the energy body? What are the echoes, the reverberations, having spoken or expressed, and having listened and sensed and seen? It doesn't need to be anything at all. In a minute we'll ring the bell, and it will be the next person. Perhaps go around again clockwise, as if you were looking from the top. And just to add, if it wasn't [clear]: as the person's speaking, you might say something, but do you notice there's an effect of speaking? There's an effect of speaking and being seen. Everything is a dependent arising. So part of what you can track, and then also expressing, is the effect of having said what I just said or shared or expressed, or of saying it right now. Do you understand? So that's part of what you can include in your awareness and in your expression, this kind of rolling dynamic of sensitivity and expression.
[19:25, starting bell rings]
[22:25, bell rings]
And again, checking out the echoes, the reverberations, whatever they are. When Catherine rings the bell, the third person will go.
[23:15, starting bell rings]
[26:23, bell rings]
Again, in the silence, in the pause, noticing any reverberations moving in the energy body, also in the mind, in the emotions, in the sense of things. We return to the mettā. Again, taking in with your senses; don't do this just with your eyes closed. Take in each other. See who you are offering mettā to. Sense their presence, their beingness. And wishing well. Emanating kindness, goodwill, to your two companions, with your energy body awareness. Emanating that warm, healing kindness. There may be eye contact, but there doesn't have to be. It might come and go. Know, be aware, recognize that you are receiving that stream of kindness, loving-kindness right now. You're giving and receiving the blessings of mettā. Whatever is happening for self, in the body, in the emotion, in the mind, whatever is happening for other, wishing well, being wished well whatever. That's the intention of mettā. It's unconditional. It doesn't matter what is occurring. This transient flow of experience, just wished well, bathed in kindness.
And gently letting the active intention and awareness of mettā go. Letting that form a basis or a background. And aware, again, of yourself sitting, and aware of your two companions. Is there a kind of attention that can embrace both self and other in the particularities of each? Again, for the second round, we'll include emotions. Emotions are the primary thing that are -- [laughter] -- if they haven't already ... [laughter] So any mode of sharing or expressing emotions. Could be through gesture, through movement, through speech, through conventional use of language, through sound, etc., poetic language, image language. And again, the witnesses just witness, bringing as much as possible of the being, of the attention, of the senses into taking in the other, receiving the other, attending to the other with the fullness of one's body and senses. And the witnesses track what's happening in the emotions and in the energy body, in their energy. Understand? And the person sharing is sharing or expressing what's happening emotionally right now. Again, it could be that now having said that, or as I'm saying that, I notice this, and sharing that. So is it possible to track the effect both in the emotions and in the energy body while you're speaking? Energy body and emotions are very connected, of course. But to share mostly about the emotions, but to notice all of it. Does that make sense? Yes? Okay. So Catherine will ring the bell again, and we'll have three minutes to go around.
[32:11, starting bell rings]
[35:16, bell rings]
Pausing again and sensing the heart, the emotions. What's there right now? Actually, the whole energy body is implied in the emotions as well. Whatever it is, reverberating in the emotions right now.
[36:11, starting bell rings]
[39:11, bell rings]
That was the second, right?
[39:31, starting bell rings]
[42:35, bell rings]
Noticing the vibration, how the heart is right now, the emotions. With the mettā again, wishing well. Over and over, the gentle intention of well-wishing, kindness. May you be peaceful. May you be at ease. May you be filled with happiness. Knowing in this moment there's giving and receiving. Letting that knowing inform and pervade the energy body. Letting the energy body and the heart be involved in that knowing, touched by that knowing, shaped by that knowing. Receiving and giving. Bathing in the field of well-wishing. Gently letting the mettā go into the background to form a basis. So again, the third round, each turn will be a little longer, will be about five or six minutes perhaps. You may not feel you want to, and it's okay to say I'd rather not. But the same as the other night, if you want to, and if it feels okay -- check in if it feels okay -- is there something that has touched my soul, something that feels soulful, something that has those resonances, feels deeply meaningful? Could be an intrapsychic image. Could be a sensing with soul. Could be a relationship. Could be something happening in this moment. Could be the very fact of sitting there, the very fact of sharing this way, the very fact of being together, the very fact of what's arising in the senses right now. But if you want to, and if it feels okay, similarly sharing that, expressing it. And it could be expressed anyhow, in any of those ways we've described. And again, the witnesses, the job will then be to take in with the senses, be fully present, whole body, heart and the senses, and track what's going on in oneself in the energy body, in the emotions, in the sense of things.
Yogi: [inaudible question]
Rob: Yeah. Share whatever you want about what moves your soul. It might evolve in real time, yeah. The person sharing might also -- it might feel like too much of an ask, but it might be possible to, as you're sharing, again, how does this sharing affect me now? What do I notice in my energy body as I share this? What do I notice in my heart, in my emotions? What do I notice in my mind, perhaps in terms of commentary or thought, or perception of the very situation, my sharing this now, and what's my sense of my self and how it is to sit here right now? It's quite a lot there to sort of be open to and sensitive to and notice. One more little ... [laughter] It's nothing new! Who are these witnesses? Who is sensing me right now? Who is listening to me right now? Who is that? Who am I sharing this with? Who am I voicing this to? Okay? So if you don't feel like, you can just sit it out. And otherwise, we'll go round again. Yeah, it could be whoever wants to go first this time. We'll start, and just, with that real fullness of being, in everything that has come to mean for you over these days and with these teachings. Yeah, and take your time so you can track. You don't have to be speaking all the time.
[50:21, starting bell rings]
[56:27, bell rings]
Again, whatever is arising, whether you're the person who shared and expressed, or a witness, a listener, whatever is arising right now, in the energy body, in the heart, the emotions, in the mind. Whatever you notice in your sense of self, your sense of others, your sense of how it is to be here right now with these companions. What does that look like or feel like? How is it sensed? Catherine will ring the bell in a moment, and we'll move to the next person around the circle. And again, how much can the senses and the sensitivity and the awareness be engaged, be involved, whether you're sharing or witnessing?
[58:41, starting bell rings]
[1:04:48, bell rings]
Whatever is reverberating right now, in any of the aspects or dimensions of the being, including the sensing, whatever it is is fine, and whatever it is teaches us something. Something to learn. It's not to be judged. It's not to be dismissed or ignored or improved. Something to learn about the dependent arising of whatever arises. The dependent arising of body sense, emotion, thought, assessment, perception inner and outer. And then Catherine will ring the bell in a moment for the third person. If the third person actually doesn't want to go, then just hold that silent space, either with the intention of mettā, or just with the senses open, and seeing what arises in the senses. So if you don't feel like engaging, that's fine.
[1:06:45, starting bell rings]
[1:12:50, bell rings]
The whole of the being, the whole of the attention, the whole of the body into relationship, into engagement with what is arising right now. What is arising includes what's happening in the body, what's happening in the heart, what's reverberating, what's arising in the mind, and how the sense of things is, the sense of self, the sense of the others, the sense of this moment in this place right now. Where are we? What is this place? And again, with your energy body, with your awareness of your own experience, and also sensing your companions, beginning again to resume in conscious, active intention of mettā. Wishing well, wishing well-being and ease, peace to your companions. Include your senses, sensing them as well as your self, embracing both. Knowing, recognizing, that you, too, again, are receiving right now, are the recipient, are the object of well-wishing, kindness, benevolence, of mercy. Looked upon in this moment with eyes of mercy. Who sees me? Who listens to me? Who celebrates me? Who loves and rejoices in my expression and what comes through me? When you're ready, coming back to the places we started in. [Catherine whispers] Oh, yes, do please say goodbye. [laughter]
Okay. Before we finish this session, we'd like to do one more thing together. And you can stand up if you want to, or sit down, or even move. You can move if you want to while we're doing it. It's a really simple chant, Oṃ āḥ hūṃ. Oṃ āḥ hūṃ, they're what's called 'seed syllables.' So they're magical mantric syllables, and they have, as usual, multidimensional, multi-aspected meanings and resonances. One of the sort of levels, or one of the multilevels, is they're Oṃ āḥ hūṃ, body, speech, and mind of the primordial cosmic Buddhas. Soul makes things manifold. You start with one Buddha, you get more. And the Buddha starts getting more complex and more aspects, more and more and more, in the realization, in the liberation through soulmaking. So these primordial Buddhas have every possible aspect, every possible feature, every possible demeanour, every possible expression -- light and ethereal, and wrathful and dark, and raging with holy rage. They include suffering, and they include bliss, and they include equanimity. And they're still, and they move. They're silent, and they sound. Everything is in there. Get the idea? [laughter]
So it's a really simple chant. Catherine will start us. What you can do is listen though. The actual, basic chant is very simple, but you are free to stand up, sit down, move, and sonically embellish in any way you want to. Sometimes when we chant, we all try and find the same pitch or we find nice harmonies. You can sort of harmonize to your heart's content, make little trills and all that. Or sometimes we always go for the pretty harmonies, so, you know, if you feel moved to, and you want some dissonance ... yeah? Oṃ āḥ hūṃ, because it's the primordial Buddhas, it's everything, including the dukkha, including the light, including the dark, including the pretty, including the seemingly ugly, including the rub and including the smooth. Yeah?
[Catherine begins] Oṃ ...
[everyone joins] āḥ hūṃ. Oṃ āḥ hūṃ. Oṃ āḥ hūṃ. Oṃ āḥ hūṃ. Oṃ āḥ hūṃ. Oṃ āḥ hūṃ. Oṃ āḥ hūṃ.
