Transcription
Foundations of a Soulmaking Dharma
Rob Burbea
June 28, 2018
[https://dharmaseed.org/teacher/210/talk/51535/]{.ul}
I'm certain that you have got the very vivid sense of how much kind of refinement of awareness, and sensitivity, and subtlety of attention, and discernment is both necessary and a fruit of these kinds of practices. Both a basis and a fruit. That's part of the ongoing possibility of expansion. It grows in us. The more we just intend to work in these ways, those capacities, those sensibilities grow.
Some of you may not have been there, but there was a question in one of the Q & As a few days ago about, "Is it possible to do this in relationship with another person?" The answer is yes, and in quite a few different ways. Again there, there's a range of possibilities. So we want to do an exercise now, play a little bit, that exercises our sensitivities and our skills with some of the elements of the soulmaking practices in relationship together. I'll explain what we mean.
Actually, I'll just say this for now: any part of this -- it comes in, I guess, three or four stages of the exercise, but any part of it is just optional. So if you feel like you don't want to do that, you can just pass. Should we divide up into groups first, and then explain? Yeah. So we're going to break into groups of three, and I'm going to ask, can those groups of three be, as much as possible, with two people that you didn't know well before the retreat? Is that possible? Yeah? And as I said, there will be a few stages, but I'll talk us through it. If you want to pass on a stage, you can. You probably won't, but you can if you want to.
Basically, we'll be exploring, in the moment, in real time, the experience of energy body, the experience of the heart, and if you want to, sharing or expressing something that has touched your soul while you've been here. It could even have been today, could be in this moment, or this week -- an image, or something you've sensed with soul, that has touched your soul. That's basically what we're doing, but I'll explain more. Does that sound at least okay-ish? [laughs] Okay.
So is it possible to get into groups of three with, as much as possible, two people that you didn't know really very much at all before the retreat? That might not be entirely possible, but I think it may be. It should be. So let's see if we can do that relatively easily. Okay.
[3:58, guided exercise begins]
So find a posture that's comfortable. Begin with your eyes closed, actually. And grounding, a sense of grounding. So connecting with the sense of sitting, with the sensations of sitting, with the floor, the feet, the legs, the backside. Grounded, in contact. And then just opening up, keeping that sense of contact, and opening up the whole space of the awareness of the energy body. You're really very much in your space, whatever is happening there right now. Just in touch with the flow, the ebb and flow and movement, what arises, what passes in the energy body, and also in the heart and the mind right now.
And then when you're ready, beginning to offer mettā, offer the intention of loving-kindness, to your partners. You can move between the eyes open and the eyes closed for this. You may make eye contact; you may not. But just getting a sense of them, their being. Wishing them well. May you be peaceful. May you be filled with happiness. May you live at ease. Just returning to that intention, the gentle intention of mettā, over and over again, for these beings with you.
Is it possible, again, at the same time as you are giving, intending the stream, the flow, the bathing of mettā towards your partner or partners here, that you recognize, that you become aware of, too, that at this very moment you are the recipient of well-wishing? There is mettā flowing towards you, goodwill, bathing your body, your being. You are wished well. A gaze of kindness focused on you, intentions of goodness and kindness. Aware of giving and receiving, both. Flowing in, flowing out, bathing all around and inside.
Okay. Now, perhaps I should have explained this before, but I'll have to do it now. The first round of this exercise will be that you take turns, and each person has two minutes, roughly two minutes, to in some way express or share -- it could be in words; it could be in movement; it could be in gesture; it could be in sound that is not words -- in some way to express what is happening, what the experience is in the energy body at the moment, as it's happening. What you'll find is that, in two minutes, that might even change quite a lot. The fact of you communicating something, in whatever medium or form that is, actually also has an effect. So you're just kind of somehow expressing out loud what is happening in the energy body through those two minutes, as much as you would like to.
What happens in the energy body can be anything at all. There's not a better or worse, or right or wrong, at all. So it might be, tracking the energy body, "I don't even know. I'm not quite connected. Give me a second. Feeling actually it's numb. There's not much going on there." Okay, that's what's happening in the energy body. It's not right, and it's not wrong. It's just what's happening. Or I go and "There's a lot of sort of nervous excitement, and it's kind of unpleasant, but actually when I stay with it, I see I can open to it, and it becomes quite pleasant, like a sort of fizzy fountain." So you can speak in as accurate as possible conventional, descriptive words to describe what's happening in the moment.
You could speak in more poetic language, and with the expanded sense of the energy body we have now that includes the image, what is it? "The energy body right now is a volcano in the moment of its eruption, a boiling, luminescent lava erupting through my central channel out the top of my head." [laughs] Or "My energy body feels like a cool stream of clear, pure water, flowing in the spring sunlight, this movement through my body." Or it could even be "I feel like I'm growing wings, and they're huge, and they're powerful, and they move with the whole energy" -- whatever it is. No good, no bad, and you can describe in all kinds of ways.
Now, the witnessers are just witnessing. They're just witnessing. You don't comment. But the job of the witnesser is to bring all your senses to the witnessing -- eyes, listening, but your whole energy body. What is it to bring your energy body into openness to what you are witnessing and hearing? And your job is also to track what happens in your energy body when you are witnessing what you are witnessing, when you hear what you hear. Does that make sense? The intention here is purely for exercise, I said at the beginning just now. There are a lot of skills involved in this. We're just developing the skills, and now we're developing the skills in relationship. It's not "this or that should happen." I'm not trying to entertain or impress or prove myself in any way. It's purely an exercise, yeah? So check what happens also in the intention sometimes when we come into relationship.
Is that clear enough for this stage? Yeah? So in the way that you have now perfected, to in a flash decide what order you're going in ... [laughter] in the groups. So remember, there's a range here. There's nothing one needs to impress. If I look inside and "Actually, I've just got a knot in my heart, and the rest is numb, and it just feels really contracted," that's what's happening. That's what one is expressing and sharing in whatever way one wants. One could express that in grunts or whatever it is. Really, it's open. The experience is open and the range of expression -- staying in your place and not touching each other.
[14:41] Okay. So let's take a moment before we start, to gather ourselves again. I probably should have done the explaining before, apologies. So just take that moment, connection with the earth, the grounding, and the whole energy body right now. Tap into the mettā again, giving your partner or partners, intending that flow of well-wishing. Knowing that you are, at this moment, receiving, the recipient, the object of goodwill and kindness, of mettā. And then gently letting the mettā take its place as a kind of basis -- not so much a conscious intention, just a basis of everything that we do when we're in relationship. Just letting it go to be the kind of ground floor. And then, when you're ready, the first person has two minutes to speak, grunt, vocalize, move, express what's happening in the energy body right now. So both witnesses and communicator tracking also the effects of communicating in the energy body.
So just take a couple of moments, then, to come back to your energy body. What's reverberating there now? What's the experience of either having witnessed or having communicated, shared, expressed? It doesn't have to be one thing or another. It's just an exercise in developing awareness and sensitivity, in this case in a certain context, that will allow other possibilities. Again, just momentarily touching on the mettā, bringing that up more consciously, the goodwill, the knowledge, the assurance, the recognition that you are receiving intentions of loving-kindness right now.
And then the second person, beginning in the same way. The witnesses completely as open with the whole energy body, and tracking their response at the same time.
And again, coming with the fullness of intention into the sphere of the experience of your own energy body, and just seeing what ricochets around there now, what reverberates, whatever it is. In a minute, it will be the third person's turn, but for those of you working either in two or alone, the twos can just divide this time in half, if you like, as well as you can judge half a minute each [laughs], and just do that a bit more rapidly. And for the ones, there's the possibility, if you like, of almost letting the soul come into two, so a witness part of the soul, and yourself as image, if you like, tracking the energy body, if you would like. Just again, opening the taps of mettā, opening the waters, the flow of mettā, just for a few moments. Bathing the other in this stream of mercy, kindness, goodness. Knowing that you, too, are right now, likewise, being bathed, gazed on with mercy, with well-wishing. Letting that take its place as a quiet, tacit foundation. And the next person beginning.
[25:21] Okay. Lovely. So that was round one, or stage one, if you like. Second stage actually kind of adds a dimension. The dimension that it adds is that of the heart, okay? The emotions. So pretty much the same thing, but what happens this time is each person expresses in whatever manner they like. It could be moving. It could be vocalizing without words. It could be descriptive kind of conventional use of language. It could be a poetic use of language. The energy body can become image. The emotions can become image. So all that is available as sort of manners of expression, if you like. And again, the witnesses are just silent, with as much receptivity of their energy body. The person who is expressing expresses what's happening in the heart -- in the emotions, in other words -- right now. And the witnesses track in their body, what's happening in the energy body, and what's happening in their heart as they're witnessing. But they're not commenting. So their whole energy body, the whole being, is really open and in relationship to what's happening. You're just silently tracking your process as much as you're in relationship.
[question in background] I thought about this before. We could talk really a lot about where the attention is. I think if you're a witness, yeah, maybe something like 60 [per cent] with the person, listening, and 40 [per cent] -- something like that. So you're actually really quite aware of the reverberations inside you of what's being expressed or communicated. The expresser is probably mostly inside, but really aware that this is happening in a relational field -- I'm being seen, I'm being witnessed, opened to, listened, very probably empathized with, and gazed on with love and care. Is that okay? Yeah. So primarily it's emotion, but because that ties in with energy body. Primarily you're just sharing -- again, in the moment; not "Yesterday I was a bit down and ...", etc. It's what's happening right now. And again, the effect of speaking itself, communicating. Everything is a dependent arising. You're just tracking the kind of flow and expressing it.
One thing to look out for: in terms of patterns and tendencies, is it my pattern when sharing about where my heart is at, is it my pattern to only describe what is lovely and the good feelings? Or is it my pattern to only share the dukkha and the difficult stuff? Just noticing that and seeing. Maybe I want to experiment with range. Make sense? So no force, no pressure, but just something gently to be aware of as well. Two minutes. Is that clear enough for this round? Yeah? Okay.
[29:11] So again, starting with the connection. Simple sensations of contact, grounding, earth, feet, legs, bum. And again, opening the stream of mettā, letting it flow, the gentleness, the well-wishing, the kindness, flowing to your companion or companions, flowing to self. And again, can you open up the dual awareness, recognizing that you are receiving right now? Right now, these waters of mercy, the gentleness, the well-wishing, the radiance of kindness, is washing over you, through you. Giving and receiving, both. Opening both ways. And letting that mettā rest as the background basis of what we're doing, not so conscious. And then the first person again beginning.
The stream of mercy, the eyes of mercy, on the others, on self, and what you have just witnessed, and what you've just expressed. Letting that recede to the background, the ever-present background of our intention. And then the next person beginning. So as much as possible, what's happening now, in the flow of the heart right now.
Okay. Again, taking just a few moments, sensing your energy body, what reverberates. Allowing and gently supporting the flow of an intention, intentions of kindness, the beauty of mettā to flow from you to your companion or companions, and from them to you. Feel yourself give and receive. Know yourself giving and receiving. And again, if you're in a pair, you can try and roughly divide this into two. And the next person beginning.
[39:19] Again, just the settling, opening up the energy body, the awareness, the sensitivity to what's reverberating there. And the intention of kindness in and through the energy body, out the energy body and into the energy body, giving and receiving, the eyes of mercy, the ears of kindness. It's a privilege to hear, to see, to share, to express.
Okay. Now, in this part, stay for now with the eyes closed, and with your own energy body experience. Settling in the body, the openness of the whole body awareness. If you can, somehow bring into your awareness, bring up for your soul, remind yourself of what your heart longs for, what your heart may burn for. What brought you here? What brings you here? What brought you to this retreat? Perhaps what brought you into existence, into this life? In whatever way works for you, to bring that up for the soul, in the soul, for the soul to behold. Allowing whatever responses in the energy body, in the heart, in the soul. Opening your body, opening the energy body to the effects, the reverberations of this that your heart burns for, longs for, loves.
Feeling yourself touched by this. The mind wanders, and it slips away, or it goes numb. Sensing your devotion to this that you burn for, your alignment with your desire. Maybe it becomes image. Maybe you become image as the one who is devoted to that, the one who serves that, who wants to serve that. Maybe it's just energetic or emotional. Again, the awareness and the effects can be at any level, in any arena of our being, domain of our being.
If you feel in contact with this, and if you want to, what is it then to stay in contact with this soul-desire, the image of this soul-desire, the image of yourself as lover of this, as seeker, as one who burns and serves, burns for and serves this -- to gently, if you feel ready, if you want to, to begin to open your eyes and sense from that place, from that longing, from that love, from that devotion? Sensing self, your companion or companions. Who are these who sit with you now, with your soul aflame, with your heart of devotion? Who sees you now? How do you see the world, this space, this moment, yourself, the others?
At some point in this, you may want to at least make just a tiny bit of eye contact. See what the effect is, to see and be seen, and by who. Who are these mysteries? Who are these angels that behold your fire, protect the burning of your love? Just as much as possible, close to the fountain, the flame of what brought you here, what sent you here, what called you here to this retreat, to this life, to these difficulties, to these gifts.
When you're ready, gently letting that recede, and again just coming to an awareness of whatever is happening in your experience right now -- the sense of energy body, emotion, thought. So in the sense of what's around, who's around.
[48:03] Okay. So the last part of this exercise. Again, it's all optional. You may feel like you want to leave this part. But yeah, please stay in your positions. You can just waive your part if you want. But there's a chance to again express, in any way or combination of ways that feels appropriate or the right way for you -- vocal, verbal, different kinds of verbal, or movement, or gesture -- to express, share, communicate something, actually anything, that has touched your soul, has felt soulful to you. It could be an image. It could be a way something here has been sensed with soul, has spoken to your soul. You can share, describe, communicate in some way or another. And again, the witness is just witnessing, open to their experience, the whole range of their experience (which means, again, energy body, emotion, heart, and also image). So what happens when soul hears image, when soul hears soulfulness or witnesses soulfulness?
So you don't have to necessarily express or share the thing that feels the most sort of intimate, necessarily. But you might, absolutely. And if you don't want to do this at all, that's really fine, too. Okay. Did that make enough sense to ...? All of these exercises involve, you know, sharing, communicating, expressing, grunting. Whatever it is always has an effect. Everything has an effect. It's always a dependent arising. So, "As I say that, I feel X, or I notice X or Y*."* [question in background] Let's say from this week, if that's okay. Now, it could be that what you're sharing actually turns out to be this present moment is suddenly sensed with soul; this being here, this way, with each other, is sensed with soul. And that's fine if you want to share that, or it could be something from the week. And again, it doesn't have to be the thing that's most intimate, but it could be.
Does this ...? [question in background] No, it will be around five minutes each. So each person gets about five minutes. Take your time. What we call this exercise is a relational temenos exercise. Temenos means a kind of safe space or protector of what is sacred. So that means you're with good people; there's this soul-gaze and mettā gaze; and you take your time with all the sensitivity and care of what you want to communicate or express, and how that feels as you do it. So you have around five minutes each, and you can just kind of go with a rhythm that allows you to be sensitive and respectful, and notice what's happening as you do so.
It can be absolutely anything at all. Anything, as a piece of theory, anything can touch your soul, and if that's what you're moved to express, then it can be that. It could be an object, a thing, a person, a tree, an image (internal, external), an idea that's really soulful for you. Anything. Is that at least clear enough to start, do you think? I'll take that as a yes. Okay.
So again, just the momentary connection, body, earth, energy body, presence, openness of sensitivity. And the love. When we speak soul, we are angel. Witnesses are beholding the angelic in one way or another. So there's the gentleness in that, the beauty that goes with that, and the reverence. When you're ready, the first person beginning.
[58:50] Again, taking those moments in the silence to open that awareness, that sensitivity of the soul-resonances and reverberations, sharing, witnessing, giving, receiving, beholding together. And all that in love, in mercy, the mystery of other, the mystery that you are. And when you're ready, the next person beginning.
And again, just allowing into the attention, tuning the awareness, to just notice what you notice of what reverberates in the gift, the privilege, the honour of receiving, of hearing, of witnessing soul, and what reverberates from sharing, from expressing what is intimate in a soul way. Kindness and mercy for all of it. Let those waters flow. Let them bathe it all. And in just a moment, the third person will take their turn, or if you're two you can split it again. And remembering that there is the possibility of witnessing at many different levels -- energy body, heart, and also soul. What does it mean to sense with soul that which is being shared, or the one who is sharing, or yourself as expressing and sharing this? So many things are possible. But this moment, too, and the sharing can become image, possibly. Nothing has to happen; we're just opening the ideas of possibility. When you're ready, the next person beginning.
And that delicate poise of openness, of sensitivity, a certain stance of the being, open to your experience, what's moving, resonating in your energy body, in your heart, perhaps also in your mind, in your soul. Whatever it is. We touch each other at so many levels, in so many ways. We touch and we are touched. And then again, to end, the mettā. Opening that gate to allow the streams to flow. Cool, gentle, bathing, touching, permeating self and other. Recognizing yourself, in this very moment, bathed and touched and permeated by those very waters. Giving and receiving, both.
And then opening your eyes, if they're not already open, to thank and honour your partner or partners, or yourself if you've been doing this alone. The privilege to share in this way, to be together in this way, opening up the dimensionality of what it means to be a human being, what it means to be together, of who sees and who is seen. Taking leave of your partner, and if we can return the hall to how it was and to our places.
[1:15:27, guided exercise ends]
