Transcription
I'm not quite sure exactly what I want to say or what feels called forth. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your practice and all the beauty of your being that you've brought, brought forth, brought up, brought into this space and shared together, shared with us, shared with everyone. We really deeply appreciate it. It's quite profound. I'm not sure what order to say things in. Just a practical thing about transitioning out of the retreat, or a practice thing about transitioning out of the retreat: these kinds of retreats, there's maybe less silence and less of certain kinds of meditative intensity, perhaps, for most people, so that it's less the case that one needs to guard the senses and kind of really take care with sense contact and sort of that overwhelm that you can get from certain forms of practice, of retreat.
But there may be other kinds of sensitivity. Some of you who have been on these soulmaking retreats before may have noticed that, that the heart and the being are opened in ways and available to be touched in ways that, well, maybe the world isn't so carefully set up to take care of or to acknowledge. So you may find yourselves that there may be emotions moving through; things might move you, etc. So just to be aware of those kinds of sensitivities, which are more particular to these kinds of retreats than, say, if we'd done a different style of meditation where the sensitivity can be more sensory in terms of the intensity of that contact. So to really take care of the heart and the soul in the rest of today, and tomorrow, and in the coming days. What does it need? What kinds of contact does it need? What kinds of care does it need? What kind of space does it need? Maybe it needs solitude. Maybe it needs certain kinds of sharing, etc. They are a little bit different, these retreats, and their consequences in the being, than some other retreats you may be familiar with. So just a real encouragement to take care with that. There's nothing to be apprehensive about, of course, but just to care for the soul and the heart.
I sort of mentioned this last night: we can -- of course some of you may not -- but there can be a great flush of enthusiasm for the whole thing, the whole soulmaking endeavour, and your practice, and what you've been through, and a wish to share that with a partner, family, spouse, friends, etc., at home. And again, just the encouragement to be sensitive there. What's right? What's needed? What does it mean to care for the other person and for myself? We haven't done that much sharing of images on this retreat together in the temenos space, but many of you will know, when something has touched the soul deeply, it needs care, and you can't just spout it out to someone just because you have maybe a history of a certain kind of intimacy with that person. The moment may not be right. Their state of being in that moment may not be right. They may not be that interested in that moment. You may be super, on fire interested, and they may not be. And they may be polite and sort of nodding their head, a modicum of interest. Take care. When something is precious to the soul, it needs looking after.
And even someone you love and someone there's a history [with] or someone who's a fellow soulmaker, if we don't set it up right, the sharing, then it's like we're spilling our soul, and it hurts. It hurts when that preciousness is not held in a temenos, is not met. There's no ill-will; there's nothing like that. But when something feels sacred, it needs care. So if you want to share, check the moment. Check the conditions, including the other person. You can tell -- it's just like a regular retreat; you can tell, you bounce in with your enthusiasm about wanting to share certain experiences or insights that you've had, and you get a feel. In your sensitivity, you get a feel: is this person really interested? I mean, really interested? And how is it being held? And how am I holding it in this sharing? And it's there in the eyes of the other, just how interested they are. People who are interested, they want to know, they want to ask questions. Then you get a sense that they're interested. But really just the encouragement to care for that with each other, with people who are not here that you love, etc., with whomever. Maybe that's all to say about that piece.
Catherine and I were really touched, just hearing from one or two people -- of course, it may not have been everyone's experience, but -- how beautiful and moving your dāna ceremony and talk was. Of course, we weren't here, but it was really, really lovely to hear that, and to get a sort of indirect sense of that. When I started speaking about imaginal and soulmaking in Dharma talks here and other places, it was difficult. For me, it was difficult. I felt like there was a lot of opposition in terms of -- some of you were in certain places where I came, and there were all kinds of eruptions and fracas and protestations and ... [someone in background: placards] Placards, yeah. Picket lines. [laughter] Really nasty notes. All kinds of things. Seriously, it was quite difficult, I found. I felt it my calling or duty to push through that.
I've shared this with a couple of people, but I started to get the sense, "Okay, this is going to be difficult, this talk I'm going to give. I can sense that some people are going to love it, and some people really not, and some people get upset," etc. So in the moments before going to give a talk, I would open myself, tune myself, make myself available to -- I don't know what to say -- the angels, the demons, past, present, and future that wanted it to be given, that wanted it to be said. And that was sort of an imaginal practice way of ensouling the whole thing and giving me a sense of being on track, and the support that I needed -- or, in a way, hand it over to them and to that lineage of soulmaking beings, whatever dimensions we're talking about, historically and whatever else, and feel, in a way, that they were helping to give the talks and things like that.
Similarly, when I became ill over the last three and a half years, or it's four years now, sometimes so tired, and I had to do something, or this podcast, or this thing or that thing, and felt so depleted, and again would call on or align myself with that lineage, if you like, a timeless lineage, imaginal lineage, and entrust the whole process to that when I felt very depleted, etc. And so one of the reasons I think hearing about last night and your dāna ceremony, and then I know that some of you went to the church -- I don't know what happened there, but [laughter] -- yeah, you were praying, that's right [laughter] -- there's a sense, indirect and maybe more tangible, that you are those angels now, or some of you or those of you who will enter this more fully and take it on and explore it more fully. And there's a sense, for me, of you are supporting the whole thing now, if that makes sense. Does it make sense? So that's very beautiful, and I feel very grateful for that. I'm very touched.
Yeah. There's a lot of delight in that, and a lot of beauty in that, a lot of gratitude. You are that imaginal community now, some of you -- no pressure [laughter] -- if you feel that in the calling of your soul, in your being, in your togetherness. So that's something very, very heartening for me, soulful for me, for us, I think, I should say, if I can. A couple of things about that. We've, on and off on this retreat, kind of wanted to put the onus back to you, to pass the buck back to you, for those of you that think you'll be really into this. Some of you will just take little bits of this and maybe use a little bit in your therapy practice or some other thing, and that's completely fine. And some of you will be much more wholly and wholeheartedly and whole-souledly engaged, and committed, and in love, and on fire, and hungry to fill out into these teachings and let them fill out, and these practices, and explore, and in the fullness of time, having digested what is really quite complicated, quite sophisticated, profound and wide, will bring your own creativity and your own beauty and add to it or make connections, I hope. I hope that happens. And I hope, if it does happen, that it's rooted in a kind of really full assimilation and digestion of what we've been talking about, before one just sort of tinkers with adding it to other things or mixing it.
But again, there's this encouragement from us, if you feel a calling, to be a little proactive with that, alone and together. What do I need to develop? What is it that I don't quite understand? What needs filling out? What needs to become a more firm base for me, and to come alive that way? Where are my blind spots? What are the things that I just need to develop in order for this whole vessel, in my personal practice, to really be shipshape and able to sail on rough seas, etc., and meet whatever? So there's this encouragement to really think that way about one's practice, and we can do that together. So we can certainly do it in solitude, in one's own reflection, in one's own practice, but also together, sharing together, studying together, learning together, supporting each other. It may be that certain aspects are clearer to one person and less so to another, and vice versa. So to have that sense, the Saṅgha sense, of being really good friends to each other. If you feel that calling, if there's that opportunity, then what does that need? What does it need? How do we take care of these relationships? I've said this before: soul doesn't just happen by itself. Soulmaking won't just happen. A lot of care and a lot of conditions need to come together for that to happen. And similarly for Saṅgha, the sense of Saṅgha, the sense of community and deep soul-friendships to deepen. Of course, we're thrown together fortuitously and gratefully and miraculously with people that something blossoms with, but still it takes a lot of work, a lot of hard work sometimes. So what is it to care for each other, to be good friends to each other, deep, deep, supportive friends, to explore together, to open things together, if that feels like your calling and what you would like?
Maybe that's it for now. So thank you for your practice. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your beautiful souls.
